The Gift

The Ramblings of a Big City Girl Gone South

Archive for March, 2006

You don’t bring me flowers


You just bring me body parts. Compliments of my stupid dog JD. To top it all off, the little bastard makes me chase him down to get the stuff from him. Puppy for sale…cheap and slightly beaten.

  • Filed under: Play
  • I’ve been thinking alot lately about a new hobby, cooking has been the obvious chioce. Problem is that I don’t want to ‘just’ cook, I want to learn to cook, so just trying new recipes and such isn’t really what I want. I’ve been watching alot of the Fine Living channel and learning alot about wine. I’ve always fancied wine, unfortunately I, like most everyone else, I really don’t really know a good wine from a bad wine except by price….and I am not talking about a two-buck-chuck wine. (you CAN find an enjoyable bottle of wine for $10)

    This leads me to what I wanna do when I grow up!! I wanna become a sommelier. Yeah, I know…what IS that?…don’t feel bad, eithier you know it or you don’t…and shit, I can barely say it. Well, if you intimidate me, I CAN’T say it! A sommelier is simply a wine steward or for the more affluent, a cellermaster. Its’ someone who imparts their vast knowledge and love of wine to their customer. Doing this would certainly be a challenge to even start as a new hobby since I have neither any real knowledge of wine nor any customers!

    The fact of the matter is that if I could go back to work, I would first go to school to be a sommelier, but we all know that won’t happen because one, I am trapped at home now, and two we live in the sticks and the nicest restaurant we have in town is a mexican food place, and frankly, you can go in there in your pajamas and no one would notice.

    Wouldn’t that just be the coolest job ever? Get paid to hang around and talk to customers and make them feel happy and tell then waht to drink AND get to drink lots of free, fine wine. Sweet! Maybe when I learn more about wine I’ll make a wine corner and recommend my fair to you!

  • Filed under: Play
  • The Little Things

    I just goes to show you that it’s the little things that get ya in the end. I had to take Devin to school today because he missed his bus. As we drove up, Devin hops out of the car and drags his backpack with him, which in turn drags everything that is on the floor of my car with it. (everything currently consists of all of his used tissue from our last trip to the doctor) So, ‘everything’ falls out on the ground, at school, right in front of his well-dressed, upscaled principal….the only lady in town who really knows what a classy outfit is…not just a nice church outfit. To make matters worse, she ends up picking up all of the ‘everything’ that fell on the ground, and tosses it back into my car, AND she does it with class! I think I am gonna go bury my head in my garden now.

  • 1 Comment
  • Filed under: Play
  • Just Wrong….

    I was at Hardee’s the other morning, treating my son to some “hashbrowns” a.k.a. tater tots…and I decided to have a biscuit…I figured that it would be a nice treat…but not too heavy. Wrong….did you know that they deep fry their biscuits here in the south?!?!? I mean they bake them first..and then freeze them and then to warm them up, they deep fry them! eeeww!

  • 1 Comment
  • Filed under: Play
  • All Grown Up


    Snif….my baby is all grown up! At least that’s what he thinks, now that he’s lost his first tooth. I think that it’s pretty funny that he thinks he’s all grown up and he’s still wearing he Bob the Builder pajammas.

    P.S. and yuppers….that’s a booger on the end of his nose

  • 1 Comment
  • Filed under: Play
  • What about my needs?

    Today and yesterday have been almost a complete waste of time. You see, my son has been home sick, not the kind of sick where he lays in bed all day and I tend to his every need, but the kind of sick where he just annoys the crap out of me and the school won’t take him back. I can’t clean anything because he is following right behind me messing everything up or asking me to do this and do that for him. Mom, play XBox with me….mom, I’m hungary….mom, I don’t wanna eat that, make me something else….mom….mom…mom.

    This evening, he decided that he wanted to play army dude with his mother, stupidly not realizing that this mommy doesn’t play army dude with ANYONE. We had an arguement for a half an hour over the subject. Then he pipes in, I do stuff for you, now you have to do stuff for me. Fine, army dude it is.

    I proceed to hunt him down and shoot the crap out of him several times….(the little bastard just won’t die!) Then, when we’ve played for about 20 minutes, I insisted that he pick up his crap in the living room, to which he replies no, he already did something for me today and he isn’t going to do anything more……so I shot him again.

  • 1 Comment
  • Filed under: Play
  • Just Stuff

    Four of the jobs I have had in my life:

    Crew Leader – Souplantation, Point Loma, CA
    Cute Sales Girl – Corky’s Hallmark, Pacific Beach, CA
    Data Analyst – Computer Intelligence/Ziff Davis/Harte Hanks, La Jolla, CA
    Cute Sales Girl – Nordstrom Fashion Valley, San Diego, CA

    Four movies I would watch over and over again:

    The Sweetest Thing
    Anything by Rankin & Bass
    To Woo Foo, Thanks for everything Julie Newmar

    Four places I have lived:

    Hermiston, Oregon
    Ypsilanti, Michigan
    Costa Mesa, California
    Grand Junction, Colorado

    Four TV Shows I love to watch:

    Battlestar Galactica
    Good Eats
    The Thirsty Traveler

    Four websites I visit daily:

    E! News Online
    Gold Canyon Candles
    Homesteading Today

    Four of my favorite foods:

    Ham, Swiss and avocado sandwiches
    Most Indian Food
    White Chocolate Cheesecake
    Capellini Pomodoro

    Four places I would rather be right now:

    The Mediterranean
    San Diego

    And I tag these four people:

    Impossible….all my blogging friends have been tagged. 🙁

  • Filed under: Play
  • Earpicks

    My sweet son has been blessed with my allergies and they have been bothering him alot lately. Today and yesterday, he’s developed a pretty bad cough, but no other symptoms, so I decided to take him to the doctor. On the way there he says to me, “Mommy, are they gonna unclog my throat?” Bewildered, I asked, “What? I don’t understand.” He quickly clarified…..”You know when they use the earpick and they stick it down your thorat.” He meant are they giving him a strep test.

  • 1 Comment
  • Filed under: Play
  • You know you live in the country……….

    when you have had to feel for your car because it was so dark
    when the smell farm animals reminds you of home
    if there is a light rain and your phone goes out
    when you can loose power for more than a day
    when you can’t find your dog and he’s still on the property…somewhere
    when you can yell for your kids and they don’t hear you and THEY’re still on the property
    when the wind can blow away your above ground pool

    *new* if you have ever had to rake out your car
    *new* if you’ve ever had real, illegal moonshine

  • 1 Comment
  • Filed under: Play
  • The dogs ate my sons homework


    I can see the note to the teacher now….

    Mrs. Scruggs,

    Devin didn’t do his homework last night because my dog ate his homework.

    Mrs. Delgado

    Sometimes we have to make up lies becasue the truth is too funny.

  • Filed under: Play
  • Sweet Home Theme. Powered by WordPressDesign by Print Out, sponsored by - Partnership, supported by - Business plan and Poker online.